Dear Moo;
Ummm, I'm a long time reader, first time writer.
You don't know me, but I'm a level ?? dragon that's getting a lot of hype in World of Warcraft blogs, and updates and what not.
I even make a very brief but impressive appearance in an official wow video, er, I mean cinematic.
The day is approaching when I will wreck havoc across Azeroth and strike fear into the hearts of its denizens, and hopefully player characters! Well, its not me wrecking havoc, I've got a bunch of guys to do that...oh, and Sarah...sorry Sarah, didn't mean to leave you out.
Here's the problem Moo.
I'm terrified. I mean, what if I don't live up to everyone's expectations? I'm worried that the very first PuG that gets to me will one shot me and go bragging to all their friends and the entire world that they "1-shotted Deathwing!". I mean really, how would I live that down?
What if Blizz gets hate mail that I'm not viscous enough, hard enough, that I'm not a challenge at all!?
Seriously Moo I can't go back to working in a call center selling foot massagers to old people!! Do you know how humiliating it will be when I say, "Hello Ma'am, my name is Deathwing, and did you know that for today only you can get a special deal on the Relaxomatic vibrating foot massager?"
If that happens the wife will kill me and the kids will probably stop talking to me. I mean, now that all their school friends have heard that I'm going to be kicking ass in Azeroth they're cool again. If I get fired, they're probably going to get beat up.
So, Moo, what's your advice? If this is performance anxiety how do I deal with it? And if its not, do you know anyone whose hiring dragons?
Due to a Non-Disclosure Agreement I signed with Blizzard, I can't reveal my name, so just sign me as "Henry".
PS. I like my steak lean, so if you can shed a few pounds before 85, I'd really appreciate it!
Dear Henry
I'll admit that I'm a bit conflicted here. First off you ask for my help, then you make a snide comment about my weight.....are you maybe my first wife?
Anyway, lets get to your issues.
New job jitters are something that everyone goes through. Well everyone that's ever had a job. So don't worry, its natural.
The key to being your best at your new job is preparation. You're supposed to be a big bad raid boss, and there are ways you can ensure you are.
The first thing I would do in your place is go to Tankspot and start watching boss fight videos, learn from your predecessors mistakes.
Here are some tips...
First thing, you should always go for healers first. Ignore the ones that start the fight...they're called tanks and can be very very hard to kill. Healers are often wearing cloth armour and are very likely more chewy than crunchy...if you like that sort of thing.
Note to self: Respec Elemental
After the healers are dead the raid is pretty much screwed, so you can just take your time and eat whomever looks tastiest.
To assist with this I would click this
link and do some research on how to avoid being drawn to tanks.
The next thing...and this is very important....never do the same thing twice. Raids expect you to follow a script.
Use your imagination and try things like hiding in different parts of the instance and jumping out at the raid when they are afk for bio's and things like that. Note that if you come in behind the raid, that's usually where the healers are standing.
You could also try assembling a raid of your own. Gather up some of your friends and make the fight fair.
Now, hopefully you find this advice helpful, and can maybe help me out a bit. I'll email you a list of players I wouldn't mind seeing demolished over and over again!
Good Luck!
Moo
Friday, July 16, 2010
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Hate Magnet....
Hi Moo;
I really need your help.
I need gear really bad, so I started putting together ICC raids to get it.
I am very particular with who I take. If you don't have good enough gear, I won't take you.
That's good right? I mean I don't want to fail, so I work to keep the best group possible.
Whenever I start advertising in /trade everyone starts making fun of me! People are upset that I turn them down because they haven't got gear off of the second wing, pointing out that I have Naxx gear on...but Moo...its Naxx 25!!
Besides, I'm not doing it so *they* can get gear, I'm doing it so I can get gear! I mean really....if they need gear let them put together their own raids!
So it's only gotten worse this past week! I begrudgingly accepted a DK tank who was just below my minimum gearscore (but she did point out that she was 800 points ahead of me). I'm a DK, so ya know, I thought there was a connection.
So you know, because we're DK's and sort of like bro's (except she's a girl), I figured she'd understand me replacing her with a pally tank that came on after we got Lady Deathwhisper down.
I don't get it. I did her a favour letting her do those 2 bosses with us...that's 4 frost badges.
She freaks out! She gets all religious on me ranting about how now she's saved...and Moo, I'm not a very religious guy, but I think people who've been saved don't use language like she was using.
It seems everytime I run a raid, it falls apart, and I just get more and more gnerdrage in trade channel.
Any advice
Signed
/trade channel hate magnet
Dear Magnet;
People now a days, eh?
I mean really, you have to go by gearscore now a days as skill isn't so important as to who might be rolling against you on gear. So, your gs is 4.8, don't take anyone below 5.4, because they might compete with you for gear.
That is completely reasonable.
And the DK you raid kicked because someone better came along. Completely understandable. I think it was awful selfish of her to spout of at you because you decided that a pally tank might not roll against you for gear...er, ummm, was better. She should've been thinking of you and the 8 other strangers in the raid and just left quietly.
I kid of course (so put your angry anti-Moo posters away).
I kind of feel sorry for you. All your life you've been carried and now you expect people in game do it for you.
You're like the guy they hand the clipboard to, give you a spot to stand and a special hat to wear. They make you feel important, your name is on the team roster and picture when they win....but you didn't do a damn thing to get them there.
Of course your motivation behind all this is clear. You don't don't give a damn about running ICC. This is about revenge.
You got turned down from so many raids because of your Naxx gear that something in your brain broke. You've gone mad from rejection and have found a way to get your revenge...
So you start your own ICC groups and play grand marshal saying yay or nay. Accepting, shifting and removing people at whim.....without actually ever going to ICC.
This way you get to power trip, ruin people's night by making sure they don't get into a raid that's actually going to ICC, then being so fussy that after a couple of hours you have to say, "Sorry, it looks like this isn't happening".
Of course you seem to forget that people have memories in game, and will start mocking you whenever you pop on trade.
This is a good case of what goes around, comes around. You screw over enough people, they're going to call you out.
My advice...change names, change servers, change games. But whatever you do remember that people don't play this game for you, they play for themselves, but many of them...unlike you, aren't so selfish to play games like this.
Love,
Moo
I really need your help.
I need gear really bad, so I started putting together ICC raids to get it.
I am very particular with who I take. If you don't have good enough gear, I won't take you.
That's good right? I mean I don't want to fail, so I work to keep the best group possible.
Whenever I start advertising in /trade everyone starts making fun of me! People are upset that I turn them down because they haven't got gear off of the second wing, pointing out that I have Naxx gear on...but Moo...its Naxx 25!!
Besides, I'm not doing it so *they* can get gear, I'm doing it so I can get gear! I mean really....if they need gear let them put together their own raids!
So it's only gotten worse this past week! I begrudgingly accepted a DK tank who was just below my minimum gearscore (but she did point out that she was 800 points ahead of me). I'm a DK, so ya know, I thought there was a connection.
So you know, because we're DK's and sort of like bro's (except she's a girl), I figured she'd understand me replacing her with a pally tank that came on after we got Lady Deathwhisper down.
I don't get it. I did her a favour letting her do those 2 bosses with us...that's 4 frost badges.
She freaks out! She gets all religious on me ranting about how now she's saved...and Moo, I'm not a very religious guy, but I think people who've been saved don't use language like she was using.
It seems everytime I run a raid, it falls apart, and I just get more and more gnerdrage in trade channel.
Any advice
Signed
/trade channel hate magnet
Dear Magnet;
People now a days, eh?
I mean really, you have to go by gearscore now a days as skill isn't so important as to who might be rolling against you on gear. So, your gs is 4.8, don't take anyone below 5.4, because they might compete with you for gear.
That is completely reasonable.
And the DK you raid kicked because someone better came along. Completely understandable. I think it was awful selfish of her to spout of at you because you decided that a pally tank might not roll against you for gear...er, ummm, was better. She should've been thinking of you and the 8 other strangers in the raid and just left quietly.
I kid of course (so put your angry anti-Moo posters away).
I kind of feel sorry for you. All your life you've been carried and now you expect people in game do it for you.
You're like the guy they hand the clipboard to, give you a spot to stand and a special hat to wear. They make you feel important, your name is on the team roster and picture when they win....but you didn't do a damn thing to get them there.
Of course your motivation behind all this is clear. You don't don't give a damn about running ICC. This is about revenge.
You got turned down from so many raids because of your Naxx gear that something in your brain broke. You've gone mad from rejection and have found a way to get your revenge...
So you start your own ICC groups and play grand marshal saying yay or nay. Accepting, shifting and removing people at whim.....without actually ever going to ICC.
This way you get to power trip, ruin people's night by making sure they don't get into a raid that's actually going to ICC, then being so fussy that after a couple of hours you have to say, "Sorry, it looks like this isn't happening".
Of course you seem to forget that people have memories in game, and will start mocking you whenever you pop on trade.
This is a good case of what goes around, comes around. You screw over enough people, they're going to call you out.
My advice...change names, change servers, change games. But whatever you do remember that people don't play this game for you, they play for themselves, but many of them...unlike you, aren't so selfish to play games like this.
Love,
Moo
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Real ID
You know, I have to wade in on this.
Its not too hard to figure out who I am. I have a Facebook fan group...and I started it.
That being said, very few of you know that my alt is DK tank extraordinaire Reginamorte. Oh wait, did I type that out loud?
I don't worry about stalkers. I'm a shape shifting ninja...I can pretty much handle anything that comes at me. I should point out that the reason I'm in a hurry to log off after raids is so I can go and fight crime, not surf porn! (I am a *good* shape-shifting ninja...not like my twin brother Hashiro, who is evil (I wear red, he wears black...we're easy to tell apart).
Anyway...
The Real ID thing is more than about privacy. It is about Blizzard losing touch with their users. There is a definitive move towards making Battlenet like Facebook.
The blue post announcing this speaks of how Blizzard employees are 'enthusiastic' users of social networking services. They speak of how they noticed how real life friendships were forged at Blizzcon.
That's nice.
I know tons of WoW players who despise social networking. The wouldn't go to Blizzcon if Blizz paid all their expenses and offered free dancing girls. (I'd go for the dancing girls!). They do not play to "forge real-life" friendships.
They play WoW to play a game. Yes, they've made some friends along the way. But that doesn't mean they want to be their friend outside of the game, or even know who they really are.
For Blizzard to think that because they are enthusiastic users of social networking, that that means everyone must be is well...naive.
When I started playing, I was a woman. It wasn't deliberate. I was playing on an RP server. I rolled a Night Elf because I thought she looked hot. I got my friend to play. He rolled a female human for the same reason. We joined a guild, we got to know people. I didn't discuss my non-game life *at all*.
My friend however, discussed my "real life" at length with my guildies. He talked about how I was 40, professional, despised men, had a string of broken relationships...and oh yes, I was a woman.
That didn't last too long, we eventually fessed up and we all had a good laugh.
My point in telling this story?
World of Warcraft is a game. For many (myself included) this is an escape. Here I am not a frazzled, overworked, stressed computer programmer. I am "Moo", laid back, funny, and oft distracted healer. I like being "Moo".
When I played on the RP server, I played a character, fully. It was my choice. I was active in the forums, active in game, and I had a good time with it.
I see a time coming when Blizz will casually announce that RealID will be mandatory to chat in game....and you have the option of Opting out, by merely not chatting.
If RealID goes past the forums, and into the game itself (outside of its current incarnation, which I have turned off), I will leave World of Warcraft.
It will make me sad to do it...as I said, I like being Moo. But there are other games and new adventures.
Thanks for listening. I needed to babble.
A real Ask Moo will be along in a day or two...I'm out of ideas right now.
Its not too hard to figure out who I am. I have a Facebook fan group...and I started it.
That being said, very few of you know that my alt is DK tank extraordinaire Reginamorte. Oh wait, did I type that out loud?
I don't worry about stalkers. I'm a shape shifting ninja...I can pretty much handle anything that comes at me. I should point out that the reason I'm in a hurry to log off after raids is so I can go and fight crime, not surf porn! (I am a *good* shape-shifting ninja...not like my twin brother Hashiro, who is evil (I wear red, he wears black...we're easy to tell apart).
Anyway...
The Real ID thing is more than about privacy. It is about Blizzard losing touch with their users. There is a definitive move towards making Battlenet like Facebook.
The blue post announcing this speaks of how Blizzard employees are 'enthusiastic' users of social networking services. They speak of how they noticed how real life friendships were forged at Blizzcon.
That's nice.
I know tons of WoW players who despise social networking. The wouldn't go to Blizzcon if Blizz paid all their expenses and offered free dancing girls. (I'd go for the dancing girls!). They do not play to "forge real-life" friendships.
They play WoW to play a game. Yes, they've made some friends along the way. But that doesn't mean they want to be their friend outside of the game, or even know who they really are.
For Blizzard to think that because they are enthusiastic users of social networking, that that means everyone must be is well...naive.
When I started playing, I was a woman. It wasn't deliberate. I was playing on an RP server. I rolled a Night Elf because I thought she looked hot. I got my friend to play. He rolled a female human for the same reason. We joined a guild, we got to know people. I didn't discuss my non-game life *at all*.
My friend however, discussed my "real life" at length with my guildies. He talked about how I was 40, professional, despised men, had a string of broken relationships...and oh yes, I was a woman.
That didn't last too long, we eventually fessed up and we all had a good laugh.
My point in telling this story?
World of Warcraft is a game. For many (myself included) this is an escape. Here I am not a frazzled, overworked, stressed computer programmer. I am "Moo", laid back, funny, and oft distracted healer. I like being "Moo".
When I played on the RP server, I played a character, fully. It was my choice. I was active in the forums, active in game, and I had a good time with it.
I see a time coming when Blizz will casually announce that RealID will be mandatory to chat in game....and you have the option of Opting out, by merely not chatting.
If RealID goes past the forums, and into the game itself (outside of its current incarnation, which I have turned off), I will leave World of Warcraft.
It will make me sad to do it...as I said, I like being Moo. But there are other games and new adventures.
Thanks for listening. I needed to babble.
A real Ask Moo will be along in a day or two...I'm out of ideas right now.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Huntard
Hi Moo;
I'm an 80 hunter. My friends are all trying to get me to raid. So I do, but then they tell me I'm terribad.
I'm fully spec'd in beast mastery, all 71 points. I figure this is good because I've got a wolf as a pet and when he enrages he turns all red and scary. I mean if he scares me, how do the mobs feel about him? I'm told I should spec survival but we've got a really, really good tank...I mean she's freakin awesome! So if I'm never getting hit why would I need to spec survival?
Then there is this rotation stuff. I got asked in a raid what my rotation was, and when I told them I used my mouse to turn and would rotate left or right, depending on the situation, they kicked me out!! I mean why?? I thought keyboard turning was bad!
I asked my friend and he told me to go and search for "Hunter Rotations". So I did, but all I find is algebra!! I mean SS + AS + ES. I was pretty bad at math in school, so I don't understand what they mean.
My friends all raid without me and it sounds like they're having a really good time, but all I do is go pick flowers and make potions for them.
Can you help me to not suck Moo?
Signed,
Don't want to be a Huntard
Dear Huntard;
You actually got kicked from a raid because you're not a keyboard turner? I'm shocked!
I was actually going to roll a hunter, because doing massive damage with autoshoot would give me more time to surf porn while raiding, but, well, we needed a healer, and I'm awesome at healing. So that's that. (my tank almost dropped dead when I mentioned I surf porn during boss fights (I thought she knew)...I wonder why?)
I don't think your problem is your rotation, or the fact that you epic fail at math. Btw, SS + AS + ES = 42...just so you know. The issue. despite your assertions that you think you're doing good, is your constant need for attention.
When you think of it, you're kind of pathetic. Being a hunter isn't that hard so you're obviously sucking for attention...that reminds me of a girl I knew once, but I digress. I wonder how your friends feel about your fishing for compliments when you hand them the potions you made them...I wonder how they feel about you giving them potions and not flasks?
You could try and switch tactics and try to get attention by being really good. But you're a hunter and this is an uphill battle...as this excerpt from the chat window of a recent raid will show
HUNTER: OMG, I just did 32k dps!
TANK: Wow, ummmmmm, gratz?
TANK Whispers Moo: Isn't that normal for a hunter?
MOO: What? Sorry, I wasn't paying attention.
If you can't do that I would suggest taking up one or more of the following professions or hobbies to feed your need for attention:
- Stripper
- Astronaut
- Movie Star
- Rock Star
- Lady Gaga's Fashion Designer
- Guy or girl who stands downtown wearing a tinfoil hat shouting that the world will end (people pretend to not pay attention, but believe me they are!)
- Guy or girl who storms out of his house wearing nothing but a bathroom and screams at all the kids to get off his lawn (this usually works for me)
- Girl who wears white after labour day.
- Person who spontaneously combusts at a shopping mall
Those are only a few suggestions, I'm sure with a little thought you can expand the list!
Cheers,
Moo
I'm an 80 hunter. My friends are all trying to get me to raid. So I do, but then they tell me I'm terribad.
I'm fully spec'd in beast mastery, all 71 points. I figure this is good because I've got a wolf as a pet and when he enrages he turns all red and scary. I mean if he scares me, how do the mobs feel about him? I'm told I should spec survival but we've got a really, really good tank...I mean she's freakin awesome! So if I'm never getting hit why would I need to spec survival?
Then there is this rotation stuff. I got asked in a raid what my rotation was, and when I told them I used my mouse to turn and would rotate left or right, depending on the situation, they kicked me out!! I mean why?? I thought keyboard turning was bad!
I asked my friend and he told me to go and search for "Hunter Rotations". So I did, but all I find is algebra!! I mean SS + AS + ES. I was pretty bad at math in school, so I don't understand what they mean.
My friends all raid without me and it sounds like they're having a really good time, but all I do is go pick flowers and make potions for them.
Can you help me to not suck Moo?
Signed,
Don't want to be a Huntard
Dear Huntard;
You actually got kicked from a raid because you're not a keyboard turner? I'm shocked!
I was actually going to roll a hunter, because doing massive damage with autoshoot would give me more time to surf porn while raiding, but, well, we needed a healer, and I'm awesome at healing. So that's that. (my tank almost dropped dead when I mentioned I surf porn during boss fights (I thought she knew)...I wonder why?)
I don't think your problem is your rotation, or the fact that you epic fail at math. Btw, SS + AS + ES = 42...just so you know. The issue. despite your assertions that you think you're doing good, is your constant need for attention.
When you think of it, you're kind of pathetic. Being a hunter isn't that hard so you're obviously sucking for attention...that reminds me of a girl I knew once, but I digress. I wonder how your friends feel about your fishing for compliments when you hand them the potions you made them...I wonder how they feel about you giving them potions and not flasks?
You could try and switch tactics and try to get attention by being really good. But you're a hunter and this is an uphill battle...as this excerpt from the chat window of a recent raid will show
HUNTER: OMG, I just did 32k dps!
TANK: Wow, ummmmmm, gratz?
TANK Whispers Moo: Isn't that normal for a hunter?
MOO: What? Sorry, I wasn't paying attention.
If you can't do that I would suggest taking up one or more of the following professions or hobbies to feed your need for attention:
- Stripper
- Astronaut
- Movie Star
- Rock Star
- Lady Gaga's Fashion Designer
- Guy or girl who stands downtown wearing a tinfoil hat shouting that the world will end (people pretend to not pay attention, but believe me they are!)
- Guy or girl who storms out of his house wearing nothing but a bathroom and screams at all the kids to get off his lawn (this usually works for me)
- Girl who wears white after labour day.
- Person who spontaneously combusts at a shopping mall
Those are only a few suggestions, I'm sure with a little thought you can expand the list!
Cheers,
Moo
Sunday, June 13, 2010
The family that raids together...doesn't necessarily...
Dear Moo,
My husband and I have been World of Warcraft for a few years now, it’s been going fairly well. However, I've met this other woman in game...a BELF Pally tank and lately it seems I’ve been more excited playing with her than my husband. I’m very confused as I don’t feel friendship towards her, it’s more primal.
Confused Cow
Dear Confused;
What's going on here is pretty obvious.
You haven't mentioned your husband's class, or playstyle or leetness at all, so I'm going to presume he's a casual player.
And there's nothing wrong with that, except in the case where you're married to, and playing with another WoW Player.
You're probably worried about your feelings towards this other woman, wondering if you're bi-sexual, or maybe even a full-on lesbian. I can imagine this is keeping you awake at night, with questions like "Do I invite my husband to my "Coming Out" Party?"
Well, relax. You're probably not a lesbian...probably.
What is more likely is that you have a condition called Opaphelia, or more properly spelt OPaphelia. You are sexually attracted to players who truly are OP, regardless of their race or gender (in game and irl)
You likely haven't noticed this before, as I imagine you wrote off the little twinges of lust you felt when watching someone climb the meters to the porn you were surfing in another window. If you don't surf porn in another window you were probably thinking about it...same thing.
But, you've "befriended" this woman so you're around her more and have noticed these primal urges are associated with her online status.
What to do about this? Well there are a couple of avenues.
The first, and the one I would recommend is to engage in hot, steamy cybersex. I'm willing to assist in this. Merely send me the chat logs (and any webcam, voice chat recordings), and I will give them a thorough analysis...at no charge because you're an avid reader.
This will allow you to fully explore your feelings.
The second you will need to alter your gaming set up for. First off...wrap your monitor in plastic, then go out and buy one of those roll-up rubber waterproof keyboards. Move your PC so it is well away from your seat.
Next, you'll need one of those water cooler things with the 18L jugs of water (make sure it refrigerates the water.
Once you have all that set up, get a big pitcher and keep it filled with chilled water at all times.
Whenever your friend comes online or speaks to you, douse yourself with cold water, liberally.
This is called "aversion therapy". It sounds like it would be pretty effective.
I hope something in all this has helped.
Good luck!
Cheers,
Moo
My husband and I have been World of Warcraft for a few years now, it’s been going fairly well. However, I've met this other woman in game...a BELF Pally tank and lately it seems I’ve been more excited playing with her than my husband. I’m very confused as I don’t feel friendship towards her, it’s more primal.
Confused Cow
Dear Confused;
What's going on here is pretty obvious.
You haven't mentioned your husband's class, or playstyle or leetness at all, so I'm going to presume he's a casual player.
And there's nothing wrong with that, except in the case where you're married to, and playing with another WoW Player.
You're probably worried about your feelings towards this other woman, wondering if you're bi-sexual, or maybe even a full-on lesbian. I can imagine this is keeping you awake at night, with questions like "Do I invite my husband to my "Coming Out" Party?"
Well, relax. You're probably not a lesbian...probably.
What is more likely is that you have a condition called Opaphelia, or more properly spelt OPaphelia. You are sexually attracted to players who truly are OP, regardless of their race or gender (in game and irl)
You likely haven't noticed this before, as I imagine you wrote off the little twinges of lust you felt when watching someone climb the meters to the porn you were surfing in another window. If you don't surf porn in another window you were probably thinking about it...same thing.
But, you've "befriended" this woman so you're around her more and have noticed these primal urges are associated with her online status.
What to do about this? Well there are a couple of avenues.
The first, and the one I would recommend is to engage in hot, steamy cybersex. I'm willing to assist in this. Merely send me the chat logs (and any webcam, voice chat recordings), and I will give them a thorough analysis...at no charge because you're an avid reader.
This will allow you to fully explore your feelings.
The second you will need to alter your gaming set up for. First off...wrap your monitor in plastic, then go out and buy one of those roll-up rubber waterproof keyboards. Move your PC so it is well away from your seat.
Next, you'll need one of those water cooler things with the 18L jugs of water (make sure it refrigerates the water.
Once you have all that set up, get a big pitcher and keep it filled with chilled water at all times.
Whenever your friend comes online or speaks to you, douse yourself with cold water, liberally.
This is called "aversion therapy". It sounds like it would be pretty effective.
I hope something in all this has helped.
Good luck!
Cheers,
Moo
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Hiatus is almost over
Hi Folks;
I should've posted this sooner. I've been silent.
I had a death in the family. My beloved aunt, Tante Lettie passed after a brief fight with cancer. She was taken suddenly and it hit me hard. May she rest in peace.
Immediately after her funeral I had to go to Dallas for a week for work. It was a busy but fun week (The Gaylord Texan is awesome for kids...for adults...kinda boring, unless you're there with WoW on your laptop...wireless sucks though).
I also got hit with the forum ban hammer for advertising my blog. So if you know any place where I can post updates, or get them to link to my blog I'd be grateful
I'm back and I've a few ideas brewing, so a new letter will be posted soon!
...if you've any ideas for letters, please email me!
Luv,
Moo
I should've posted this sooner. I've been silent.
I had a death in the family. My beloved aunt, Tante Lettie passed after a brief fight with cancer. She was taken suddenly and it hit me hard. May she rest in peace.
Immediately after her funeral I had to go to Dallas for a week for work. It was a busy but fun week (The Gaylord Texan is awesome for kids...for adults...kinda boring, unless you're there with WoW on your laptop...wireless sucks though).
I also got hit with the forum ban hammer for advertising my blog. So if you know any place where I can post updates, or get them to link to my blog I'd be grateful
I'm back and I've a few ideas brewing, so a new letter will be posted soon!
...if you've any ideas for letters, please email me!
Luv,
Moo
Thursday, May 20, 2010
'Lock Aggro
Hi Moo;
I haven't been playing this game too long. I've got a hunter whose just hit level 30.
When I first started playing it was fun. I met this warlock and we started questing together. Pretty soon we started talking about our lives outside the game, and you know, I really like this guy (but not in a gay way).
So anyway, we got into a fight about how hunters are OP and stopped questing together. I kept trying to patch things up, then one day he put me on his ignore list.
I was crushed.
I saw him every now again, and saw he was leveling really fast. Last I saw him he was 74!
One day while I was questing in Duskwood and hearthed back to Stormwind for something and there he was in the inn! I saw him turn towards me and waved at him but he ran off with some guildies.
A few minutes later, he whispered me, "Hey". I was so happy! I replied, then he said, "1 sec"
A couple of minutes later I got a summons from him! I took it, and ended up way out in the ocean with him and 2 of his guildies. I asked them if they needed my help on a quest or something, then they hearthed! I died like 5 times from fatigue trying to swim back to Stormwind!
I whispered him asking him what went wrong that he had to hearth. He logged off.
I didn't hear from him for a couple of weeks. Then out of the blue he whispered me and asked if I could hearth to Stormwind and pick him up some mana drinks, then he'd summon me and give me 15 gold. He's my friend, so of course I said yes!
So he summons me. To Storm Peaks. On top of a mountain. In the middle of nowhere!
I get there and I see him and his friends flying off. I can't fly off anywhere! I'm only level 30!
I didn't get my 15g either!
Why does he keep summoning me for help and then go away? I mean, if he's so busy why doesn't he wait before summoning me?
Signed,
Don't Summon Me!
Dear Don't
This is a real head scratcher. Seriously, I just scratched my head.
There are two problems here. The first is that you're needy and don't have many friends. I think there are a couple of things you could do to fix this.
The first, everyday at the same time you should sit in front of a mirror, look at yourself and say this. "Hi, my name is [your name here], I smart, and talented. I'm a good person and I'm good at World of Warcraft. I'm not at all needy or gullible, and dog gone it people like me!"
Back in the 80's they called this a "Daily Affirmation". It was for people with self-esteem so low that they'd believe any positive bullshit they'd hear from anyone...including a mirror.
If you don't have a mirror or aren't incredibly lame, you might try SecondLife. You can build some hot, sexy toon and have members of the opposite sex pay lots of attention to you. You can run around and try to find quests, but good luck with that.
All that's well and good if you're a bit of a...I want to use the word pansy, but I don't want to insult you. So ummm, hmmm, if you're ahhh...mild mannered.
Otherwise there is only one thing you can do...
REVENGE!!!!
You're low level and he's climbing up pretty quick so changing factions and camping his ass isn't going to work...and by camping his ass, I don't mean in a gay way.
Here's what I would do in your situation.
Go out and start a trial account and see if you can post to the forums with it. Go to the realm forums and post looking for Horde PvP'ers willing to take up your cause. Offer to pay them, in real money. Make it a contest, like...the first person to send you a screen shot of his corpse will get $500 in their paypal account (I personally would go much higher, but that's me).
Then you neglect to close the contest once the deed is done. It would be good in fact to keep bumping up your post. You might want to switch servers or factions after doing this though...because you know...you're pissing off people who like to camp other players.
If that's not to your taste I would take a leave of absence from your job (or quit outright and move back to your parents basement...unless you're already there). Get your hunter up to 80 ASAP and start raiding. Change your toon's name too. Get into raids with him and constantly misdirect on him. Do this everytime your CD's are up. Make sure you yell at him in vent for not watching his threat.
You'll probably get found out by the raid, but as long as you've got the money to change your name repeatedly you can do it over and over.
One more suggestion.
Roll a warlock with the same name as your "friend". Use some special characters but very discrete ones. Level your new lock to 80. Then join raids. Roll on plate armour, curse at people and generally suck. Make sure no one would ever invite you to a raid again. Do that often, as much as you can.
Also, yell alot in Dalaran, and in trade. Curse at people, insult them, tell people you can do crafting that you can't...and make them come to you in Silvermoon, offering them great deals to make it worth the trip.
Your friend's name will be mud. Keep an eye on his friends. If you see them hanging out with a new warlock with similiar gear, change your name using the same rule...something that looks identical.
And remember, "Revenge is a dish best served cold."
Have fun, and be safe!
Moo.
I haven't been playing this game too long. I've got a hunter whose just hit level 30.
When I first started playing it was fun. I met this warlock and we started questing together. Pretty soon we started talking about our lives outside the game, and you know, I really like this guy (but not in a gay way).
So anyway, we got into a fight about how hunters are OP and stopped questing together. I kept trying to patch things up, then one day he put me on his ignore list.
I was crushed.
I saw him every now again, and saw he was leveling really fast. Last I saw him he was 74!
One day while I was questing in Duskwood and hearthed back to Stormwind for something and there he was in the inn! I saw him turn towards me and waved at him but he ran off with some guildies.
A few minutes later, he whispered me, "Hey". I was so happy! I replied, then he said, "1 sec"
A couple of minutes later I got a summons from him! I took it, and ended up way out in the ocean with him and 2 of his guildies. I asked them if they needed my help on a quest or something, then they hearthed! I died like 5 times from fatigue trying to swim back to Stormwind!
I whispered him asking him what went wrong that he had to hearth. He logged off.
I didn't hear from him for a couple of weeks. Then out of the blue he whispered me and asked if I could hearth to Stormwind and pick him up some mana drinks, then he'd summon me and give me 15 gold. He's my friend, so of course I said yes!
So he summons me. To Storm Peaks. On top of a mountain. In the middle of nowhere!
I get there and I see him and his friends flying off. I can't fly off anywhere! I'm only level 30!
I didn't get my 15g either!
Why does he keep summoning me for help and then go away? I mean, if he's so busy why doesn't he wait before summoning me?
Signed,
Don't Summon Me!
Dear Don't
This is a real head scratcher. Seriously, I just scratched my head.
There are two problems here. The first is that you're needy and don't have many friends. I think there are a couple of things you could do to fix this.
The first, everyday at the same time you should sit in front of a mirror, look at yourself and say this. "Hi, my name is [your name here], I smart, and talented. I'm a good person and I'm good at World of Warcraft. I'm not at all needy or gullible, and dog gone it people like me!"
Back in the 80's they called this a "Daily Affirmation". It was for people with self-esteem so low that they'd believe any positive bullshit they'd hear from anyone...including a mirror.
If you don't have a mirror or aren't incredibly lame, you might try SecondLife. You can build some hot, sexy toon and have members of the opposite sex pay lots of attention to you. You can run around and try to find quests, but good luck with that.
All that's well and good if you're a bit of a...I want to use the word pansy, but I don't want to insult you. So ummm, hmmm, if you're ahhh...mild mannered.
Otherwise there is only one thing you can do...
REVENGE!!!!
You're low level and he's climbing up pretty quick so changing factions and camping his ass isn't going to work...and by camping his ass, I don't mean in a gay way.
Here's what I would do in your situation.
Go out and start a trial account and see if you can post to the forums with it. Go to the realm forums and post looking for Horde PvP'ers willing to take up your cause. Offer to pay them, in real money. Make it a contest, like...the first person to send you a screen shot of his corpse will get $500 in their paypal account (I personally would go much higher, but that's me).
Then you neglect to close the contest once the deed is done. It would be good in fact to keep bumping up your post. You might want to switch servers or factions after doing this though...because you know...you're pissing off people who like to camp other players.
If that's not to your taste I would take a leave of absence from your job (or quit outright and move back to your parents basement...unless you're already there). Get your hunter up to 80 ASAP and start raiding. Change your toon's name too. Get into raids with him and constantly misdirect on him. Do this everytime your CD's are up. Make sure you yell at him in vent for not watching his threat.
You'll probably get found out by the raid, but as long as you've got the money to change your name repeatedly you can do it over and over.
One more suggestion.
Roll a warlock with the same name as your "friend". Use some special characters but very discrete ones. Level your new lock to 80. Then join raids. Roll on plate armour, curse at people and generally suck. Make sure no one would ever invite you to a raid again. Do that often, as much as you can.
Also, yell alot in Dalaran, and in trade. Curse at people, insult them, tell people you can do crafting that you can't...and make them come to you in Silvermoon, offering them great deals to make it worth the trip.
Your friend's name will be mud. Keep an eye on his friends. If you see them hanging out with a new warlock with similiar gear, change your name using the same rule...something that looks identical.
And remember, "Revenge is a dish best served cold."
Have fun, and be safe!
Moo.
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