Conflicting Priorities....

Dear Moo;

Cataclysm is about to come out and I'm in a bit of a situation here and hoping you can give me some advice.

I've been unemployed for about 8 months now. My wife and I are on the verge of being evicted.

Cataclysm is on the horizon and it is the one shining thing in my life that has kept me going through these dark times.

Well, dark until yesterday.

I checked my lottery ticket and have discovered that we are now $15 million richer!

Wow...all my problems disappeared! I rushed home to tell my wife she could stop crying, when it hit me....

Cata is next week! If I win the lottery now, my wife is at the very least going to want to move, but will probably want to travel! I don't want to miss opening week of Cataclysm! I can go with a couple of months of ramen noodles and hotdog weiners while I get to 85! The man at legal aid says he can put off the eviction for that long!

How the hell am I gonna play WoW if my wife is dragging me all over the world seeing the sites?! I don't wanna travel the world seeing the sites, I want to go to Hyjal and quest with my guild

While sitting watching our blank tv screen, pretending we were watching The Event (that show is pretty freaky, even if you make up what you're seeing), I sort of floated the idea that if we won the lottery, I'd get a kick ass laptop and a satellite internet connection while she went shopping. She said, "No way Jose!" (my name's not Jose btw).

So what do I do Moo? I'm pretty sure my wife would be happy with $15 million, but it would be months before I could Cata it up!

Signed,
Rich and Not Loving It


Dear Rich;

Well, you could always send your money to me. I don't have a wife to tell me what to do, and with $15 million I could just buy one who would do whatever I wanted (like not bugging me on raid nights)

The solution to your problem is quite simple. Divorce.

Give your wife the winning ticket and tell her to get lost. Its obvious that she's just not that into you if she won't let you play WoW on a satellite feed as you travel the world.

Sure, sure, you would miss out on being rich, but maybe you could make enough to support your habit by spending your time between raids pushing around a shopping cart and collecting recyclables and selling them.

I see all these ads about housewives who make thousands of dollars working from home. You could try whatever they do, but, if its prostitution it could get a bit weird (but hey, you could play WoW between clients...so that's not so bad huh?).

So, anyway, if you want to give me the $15 million, just email me for my address and I'll buy you a nice gaming machine.

Love,
Moo

Being Camped...Around the clock...

Dear Moo;

I'm a pirate. I like being a pirate. I get to walk back and forth on the same path, and sometimes I get to stand by a tent near Ratchet.

Its an exciting life for sure!

Lately, I'm having this problem. I keep getting camped by Level 80s. I mean seriously...level 80's, and some of them in heroic ICC gear. What the hell is wrong with these guys?! They run back and forth one shotting me and my friends. I rez, 30 seconds later, I'm dead! Is there an epidemic of insecurity amongst 80's that they have to boost their egos slaughtering us??

They do this for hours!! I haven't eaten in days! There's no time to eat!

Was it something I did? Something I said?

Is there some way I can get these rejects to leave us alone?!

Sincerly... er, I mean ARRRR Matey

Southsea Sarah



Dear Sarah;

You know, for someone whose supposed to be evil and the scourge of the seas you whine an awful lot.

Here's the problem. Its not the 80's grinding through you mercilessly...its you, and your pirate friends.

To avoid being ganked over and over again, there is are two things you can try to increase your lifespan.

Running Away. This tactic is moderately effective. You can increase its effectiveness by not rezzing when there are any player characters around, then rezzing quickly and running into the hills. You can further increase its effectiveness by not telling your friends. Let them act as yummy, distracting fodder while you flee.

The second is Hiding. This can lead to mixed results. Stand behind a tree or far up a hill. The 80's are well into their killing trance and won't look to hard for strays. You could always try hiding in a tent as well. No one bothers to look there when everyone is just standing around in plain sight.

That being said, you could look upon your many deaths as doing a great service to your fellow pirates in other locations. After all you're so easy to kill that no one bothers with the pirates in other locations. Oh hey, here's an idea. Try levelling up....stop being so frickin lazy!

It occurs to me that maybe Cheesybeards is hiring...I'm pretty sure 80's stay away from that place.

Love,
Moo