My Tank Hates Me

Hi Moo;

I'm a level 80 Death Knight, with aspirations to do awesome dps in ICC! (if I can ever get in).

I'm having problems with my dps and I think I know why.

My tank hates me.

She starts the fight, I drop Death and Decay, and she pulls the mobs off of it...everytime! I mean, its a big red circle on the floor! How hard can it be to leave the mobs there!

I'm afraid to bring this up with her because I'm afraid she'll just let me tank..and then I might break a nail or something!

What do I do Moo? Can you help me handle this?!

Signed,
Tank Related Crappy DPS


Dear Crappy DPS

Have you considered just death gripping the mobs back to your circle o' death? That forces the tank to come back to you and gives them the fun of trying to pull aggro off you. Added fun for the healer trying to keep you alive too!

I jest of course. The problem isn't your tank, but you.

Despite your reference to "breaking a nail" I suspect you are male, insecure in your masculinity at that. You popping your DnD prematurely is indicative of deep seated sexual issues that has likely caused problems throughout your life.

Outside of an "arrangement" to drop a Cure Disease totem in a House of "Ill Repute" every once in awhile I'm not really qualified to deal with sexual issues, but I can make some suggestions as to how to deal with this.

Its important not to dwell on past performance. This will lead to problems in upcoming fights. The technical term for this is "performance anxiety". It is a particular problem when working with tank for whom you have an attraction.

A bit of this is natural of course as you will want to impress her, and, what's more, you'll want her turning to you whenever she needs dps.

I'm going to suggest that, while setting up for the fight, take a few deep, slow breathes. Its important to communicate with the tank prior, so she knows you are ready and engaged in the process. A good way to communicate subtly is to blow your Horn of Winter and buff everyone.

When the fight starts, to prevent popping your Death and Decay too soon that you mentally review complex theorycrafting until the time is just right. Then drop Death and Decay, and impress your tank with your awesome dps. When the mob goes down you will leave her impressed and anxious for the next fight!

Cheers,
Moo.