Trapped in the 80's (the decade, not the level)

Hi Moo;
I have a perplexing problem, and I need your help.
Our Guild Master is pretty good at stuff like putting together raids, but I'm deeply concerned about him.
He's on the young side (if I sent him porn I'd probably go to jail), so you'll see that this is a real issue.
He seems to be stuck in the 80's.
Whenever he keys his mike in vent we hear horrible music in the background, I mean, stuff like Boy George and ABBA!
We thought maybe his mom had her stereo on, but we've since discovered that she prefers bands like Staind and Saliva.
How can we help him Moo!


Signed,
Worried

Dear Worried

I can see that you're concerned and I'm glad you brought this to me

There's nothing wrong with your friend's musical taste so long as he's kind of lame and over the age of 40. Even then I would suggest therapy. But, as you say, he's not, so this is a problem.

Unfortunately for your friend, being trapped by such music at a young age only has one solution.

Sadly, there are only a few jurisdictions in the world where humans can be euthanized. So, unless you live in Holland or Sweden, your friend is pretty much screwed.

You say his mom listens to Staind and Saliva, so its not parental influence. My parents listened to Charli Pride and Johnny Horton every Sunday, and while I still know all the lyrics to "Kiss an Angel Good Morning" and "Whispering Pines" I would rather stick a hot screwdriver in my ear that listen to those again.

So, euthanasia, and parental influence are out.

Okay, here's an idea. This works on me all the time.
You need a really hot girl (if he's into those) . If you can't find a volunteer, hit up your guild for contributions and check out the "Erotic Services" section of the Craigslist in your city.

Have this girl befriend him, and subtly exert influence. Its been my experience that guys will do anything for hot girls.

Failing that, I think the only solution is a "long drive out into the country"
Just make sure he doesn't have a cell phone with built in gps because he'll find his way home.

It occurs to me that you could probably make a few bucks off of that. Go to Best Buy, pick up a decent camcorder, and follow him around the woods. I think the Documentary Channel would pay for something titled "The Feral GM".

That's the best I can do with this one....euthanasia is probably your best bet. Maybe everyone chip and get him a ticket to Amsterdam?

Cheers,
Moo.